Finding the good

We are stuck in a rut - and it isn't one that I seeing us getting out of very soon, so I'm trying to remember the good things about this time in our lives. The things that make me smile and laugh, the things that make me wish the boys would stay this age forever, and the little memories that I don't want to cherish.

• The feel of my boys' squishy cheeks against my lips when I kiss them (a lot!)
• Benny's sweet little voice when he says: outside, mama, dada, gak (Jack), alldun, nigh nigh (night night), Sascha (our cat) vs. the screeching that accompanies just about every other form of communication
• The awesome conversations I have with Jack about superheroes or his Wii prowess, and how I'm constantly surprised by his vocabulary
• The way Michael and I can't keep a straight face when Jack busts into our room at 10 p.m. with his newest stalling tactic all ready for us

Fortunately, there haven't been any major catastrophes lately, but we are stuck in this damn rut right now and it isn't a great place to be. This is the hardest part of being a working mom - I see the kids in the mornings and evenings, during the toughest parts of the day, and that is about it. It is very difficult to find time for myself or to even leave the house beyond the treks to daycare (I work from home). The kids are awesome, but also very challenging right now and we try to be home together as much as possible so we aren't stuck doing the yucky bedtime chores alone (worst part of the day = arriving home from daycare...cranky!).

I think my desire to lift out the good things these days is influenced by Layla Grace - a little girl in Texas who is losing her battle with cancer. I don't know Layla or her family, but have been following her story online. My heart breaks for them - I can't imagine the pain they are dealing with in losing their baby girl. And yet, as so many have said, Layla's struggle is benefiting others. People are praying for her, even if they aren't regular pray-ers. People are hugging their kids more, slowing down to enjoy the moment instead of rushing through their days. I'm so grateful to Layla's parents for sharing her with us all. She's a wonderful gift to the world and I wish her peace.