A milestone I was hoping wouldn't happen until he was much older

I've always been very lucky with regard to my health - never been seriously ill, broken a bone or been seriously injured...until I had kids. Prior to getting pregnant with my first child, I think I'd been to an ER all of once in my life. Then, I had Jack - contracted a serious blood infection following his birth and spent 10 days in the hospital. Fortunately - I had good health insurance and good doctors, and after a slew of antibiotics, I was no worse for the wear and was able to get on with my new life as a parent.

We have been lucky with our kids health too, and this is not something we take for granted. We are grateful every day for their health, especially as we know that not every child has that gift.

Last month, our lucky streak was broken as we had to admit Benny to the hospital for 3 days of IV antibiotics and a minor surgical procedure to treat an MRSA infection. Basically, he had an abscess that we had been treating , under the care of a doctor, for several days before determining that the infection was spreading and the meds just couldn't keep up. I knew that an ER visit to drain the infected site was a possibility, but when the doctor said she wanted to admit him for several days of IV meds, I was pretty shaken.

So I called my mom and cried...just for a bit...then I drove to the hospital's entrance and in we went.

We were admitted on a Thursday evening - the nurses in the pediatric wing were awesome. Benny was given the cutest little hospital gown, and he trotted around his room with his diapered tushie hanging out for a bit, until it was time to insert the IV. Oye.

I knew it would be tough - but it was worse than I imagined. Benny's chub + tiny veins = 3 separate attempts (and more than 3 sticks) to get the IV in the first time. I held him the first time, my husband took the 2nd and 3rd sessions. Once it was in, he was tethered on a 3 foot leash that meant he could be in the crib or our laps...that was it...for 3 days.

I have to say, he did amazingly well, considering the circumstances. Most of the time, he was in a good mood, happy to play ball, push the fart button on his Farley Farts book (hysterical) or just hang out in our laps. He's a little flirt and charmed the pants off the nurses and techs.

My friends Marci, Jen and Chris immediately leaped into action when they heard what was going on. Marci brought coffee and toys the first night (including the fart book), and showed up with breakfast on Friday. She stayed with Benny and I prior to the surgery, which was awesome as Michael was stuck at work and didn't make it to the hospital until mid-way through the procedure.

It is hard for me to write about the pre-op period. Benny hadn't been allowed to eat since midnight, so by the time the late morning procedure time rolled around, he was done. In the pre-op area, he was hysterical - screaming, thrashing, totally inconsolable...for an hour. He was so out of his mind that I'm not sure he could even see me any more. I was so pissed at the nurses who were ignoring us, effing around trying to figure out his weight (after weighing him), and at the assistant surgeon who was late (I know he probably wasn't just running late, but had been at another hospital, but I was still mad - I needed a villain to blame at that point). I was crying right along with Benny. Marci was in the waiting room and Michael wasn't there yet - fortunately one of the nurses saw what was happening (Benny was fighting me tooth and nail) and got him some Versed to try to calm him down. It didn't work, but at least she tried.

Once they took him from me, I ended up sobbing in the waiting room for a bit before pulling it together. Michael had been in contact with Marci so he knew where to find us.

The surgeon came out really quickly and let us know that the procedure went really well and that the nurses were just trying to start a new IV (he had blown out his first one during the pre-op fit). After an hour, the anesthesiologist came out to explain that while the procedure took all of 10 minutes, the new IV took an hour, so Benny was under a lot longer than we had expected. Fortunately, he was fine and we were allowed to see him.

Benny under anesthesia was actually funny - he was half conscious...would pop his head up and say "mama!" and then conk out again. The staff thought he was adorable - and I had to agree. But mostly I was just glad to hold my baby and know that the worst was over.

Once I knew he was in good hands in recovery with his daddy, I rushed home to shower, then met Marci, Jen and Chris back at the hospital. They brought us lunch and kept us company for a while - again, awesome.

After that, things were pretty uneventful. Benny was on IV antibiotics to fight the infection. The culture that had been growing for 5 days finally confirmed that it was MRSA, and also told us which meds it was susceptible to. (Don't get me started on how long the culture took - I know from my work that there are rapid PCR tests for MRSA that can provide results in an hour, but the technology isn't available at our hospital, apparently. Argh.) This meant they could finally give him exactly the drugs that he needed to fight the infection, rather than just the broad spectrum antibiotics that he had been on (which turned out to be the wrong meds for his type of infection - double Argh!).

The new IV was in his arm (previous one had been in his foot) and to protect it, they had put a stabilizer on him, which meant it looked like he had a cast. As they say, kids are adaptable - he managed to work his hand free from the tape so he could sort of use it, and regularly clocked whomever was holding him in the head with his arm/weapon.

One of the things that bothered me the most about the hospital visit, once I knew he was not in any real danger (aside from the anesthesia, which I wasn't thrilled about but had to be done), was the potential length of stay. We had been given a variety of potential discharge times - everything from one to four days. Not knowing stuff like that makes me crazy, so I tried not to think about it. Fortunately, he was discharged on Saturday evening, which was earlier than we were hoping for.

It was awesome to have him home again.

While all this was going on, Jack was being shuffled around a bit. My parents took him Thursday night and Friday until Michael got home from the hospital that evening. Michael's parents drove up from San Diego and hung out with Jack during the day, and then, once we knew Benny was being discharged, I came home while Michael stayed to handle the exit.

I hadn't seen Jack since Thursday morning, which was really tough for me. I had spoken to him, and he knew what was happening, but didn't seem all that concerned. He was napping when I got home, and when I went in to wake him up, he burst into tears and said he had gotten tired of waiting for me in the living room (?). I cried too. It was clear that the situation had been tougher on him than he had been letting on.

I started this blog post a couple of weeks ago, right after all this happened, but wasn't really able to finish it. I think I wasn't ready to think about it all, but I knew I wanted to capture what had happened.

At this point, we are all doing really well. Benny is off his antibiotics and doing great, and Jack is too. I'm glad this is behind us, and would like to avoid another such milestone happening any time soon!

Holiday Comedy - 2009 Edition

Like many other families, every year we take a family photo for our holiday card...and every year it is kind of a pain in the ass. I love the tradition - and it is often the best and only shot of all of us together - but fitting it into a crazy holiday schedule is always a challenge. Also, and again like many other families, there are a zillion outtakes as my kids rarely perform on cue. There is always at least one where both Michael and I have clearly had it and are ready to give up altogether.



This year we took shots on our front porch with a little help from my cousin, who actually had more fun than we did, I think...and she brought us cookies!

Here are some of the best bloopers from our 2009 holiday card:

One of my faves - I call it "give me strength". Sadly, this was one of the first shots - so you can see how well this is going to go!




Unfortunate timing on this game of "where's Benny!"



Benny is clearly not interested in participating at all here:


Ultimately, we chose this one - mostly because none of us are crying, playing peek-a-boo or picking our noses.


Happy holidays y'all!

(many thanks to Mary Cilva for being our photog this year!)

Shortage of shorts

So - not only did I forget to pick up diapers at lunch today (and then didn't realize the issue until I was getting the baby ready for bed, leaving us with one diaper until tomorrow), I also discovered that Jack went "commando" to school today. WTF?

I asked if he had an accident and maybe that is why he came home w/no drawers, but he said that he thought he had them on, until he went potty and "when I looked down, no underwear!"

OMG. Michael can't get home fast enough!

crushing exhaustion

how tired am i? too tired to be bothered with capitalization tonight - that is how tired i am.

i should be asleep - it is nearly 1 a.m. and the munchkins are unlikely to sleep in, but i couldn't sleep after being jolted out of a drifty doze twice by the baby who was unable to figure out how to lay down from a sitting position. (holy crap)

OMG (caps!) - this week has kicked my ass! work is incredibly busy - major event next week that my team and i put together in less than 10 days. it has been very stimulating and exciting - but i am burnt. i have to travel twice next week for this project (to the same city, mind you) - and that is causing major stress as the hubs just got a new client that regularly requires super early meetings, making day care drop off impossible.

sometimes this whole working mom/career stuff is for shit. the travel puts major strain on all of us - and then i end up feeling so guilty for leaving my kids with their dad, who is perfectly capable, that i bend over backwards to "make up" for being gone and am unable to find even half a second for myself. so really, on a regular week i only leave the house to do daycare drop off/pick up, and on a travel week it is twice as bad. i literally never get out. i'd love to just go to the freaking store by myself - but that never happens. i don't get to go to the store at all.

an example - next week i have to travel up north. i should be there all week - but i just can't. it is too much - so instead i'm going to turn myself inside out to fly up to SF twice in order to try to be gone as little as possible.

i feel like i'm drowning a bit these days. i desperately need a day off to myself - to run some errands, get a haircut, take a god damn nap - and yet that is not to be.

this post is all over the place. i'm too tired to care.

night.

Boogers and Boobs (are those your boobths?)

Ben is sick...fever, faucet-of-snot nose, cranky...sick. He started with a fever on Monday, which I desperately hoped was just teething so I could send him to daycare without too much guilt. But by Tuesday evening the congestion started and yesterday we took him to the doctor. She actually ran a test for H1N1 flu, which fortunately came up negative.

Poor kiddo - he wants to be in a good mood. He'll start to play and clap, and then dissolve into fussing (still clapping). His nose runs constantly - and he HAAATTTEEESSS when we wipe it. As soon as he sees the tissue coming, he turns away and very deliberately rubs his nose on my shoulder (or between my boobs, a la Wedding Crashers, only slimier). I've learned to let some of the snot dry on his nose - it acts as a dam for the next flood-o-boogs.

So that is what is going on around here... Yeah, I'd stay away if I could.

Mobility and maturity

Ben started crawling officially about 2 weeks ago. It was a Saturday - on Sunday, out of what I like to think was concern for his brother's well-being but was probably more out of toy preservation, Jack cleaned up his room. It was spotless. I don't think I could have done a better job (he only shoved one thing under his bed).

I wonder what it will take for this to become a regular occurrence? But, I wonder the same thing about when he'll stop pooping in his underwear.

Right.

Weekend Update...

This weekend was so incredibly busy - on Friday it didn't seem that we had that much planned, but by Sunday night we were beat.

Friday was date night - friends graciously agreed to watch the boys (thanks Marc and Jenn!) so the hubs and I could go to a movie (Harry Potter), which was a much needed opportunity.

Saturday I took the boys to hang with friends while Michael had some "alone time" (not a euphemism for anything - he organized the spice cabinet...that's not code either! get your minds out of the gutter!). Anyhow - after naps we picked up dinner and headed to El Segundo for the local Rotary Club's annual Movie in the Park. Honestly, I didn't have high hopes for the evening...I was positive that parking would be a disaster, that the boys would lose it before the film started and that I'd be cursing myself for dragging us all out.

I could not have been more wrong!

Parking was fine (and free!), the tickets to get in were super cheap and we found a great spot right near our friends. Jack hung with his friends in the bounce house and took a train ride while I played with Benny on the blanket we had spread on the grass. He had a blast - loves being outside and seeing new things. He clapped and crawled around, made friends with some neighbors and posed for pictures.

Once the movie started (Kung Fu Panda) everyone settled in - Jack and his friend Calvin ran back and forth between our blanket and Calvin's wagon, giggling and being goobers. Finally Jack got tired of the movie and asked to go play on the structure, so Michael took him over there while I hung out with Ben (who took a 30 minute cat nap and then watched the rest of the movie with me).

The whole evening was really great - I love doing community activities...makes us feel like we live in a small town, even though we totally don't.

Sunday was equally full - we cleaned out the garage for a bit then headed up to the South Coast Botanic Garden for a kids concert in the meadow. Jack got to run around with his friends and then they all settled in for the show, which he really got into.

Or not - he watched the whole thing and occasionally whispered along with the songs, but mostly he just ate his Doritos.

Surprisingly, we were able to bring wine to the event, which made the whole thing much more entertaining for the adults too. I think they finally had to kick us all out an hour after the concert had ended. Oops.

As I said, we were all beat by last night. This a.m. the boys slept in super late - I had to drag them both out of bed (unheard of) at 7:30 in order to get to work on time.

All in all it was a really wonderful weekend - great activities, great friends and some tired kiddoes at the end of it all. Plus any lingering guilt I have from my recent weekend away is now totally gone!